the dangers of over fertilization

Click the link to read the story
foxy 4 foot afro

bull 3, stupid humans 0

A seemingly drunk Spaniard, who stepped into the ring of an amateur event in Xativa in eastern Valencia, is the third victim of an infamously violent 1,100-pound bull named Raton AKA "mouse" in Spanish.

Read the rest of the story:


http://news.sympatico.ca/oped/coffee-talk/spanish_man_gored_to_death_by_bull_in_amateur_event/4d3552c6

27 club - R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

It's not just my pride
It's just 'till these tears have dried
~Amy Winehouse (Rehab)

the rapture

snatch & run

Engineers enlisted to protect Muff Road sign
10:43AM Friday Sep 11, 2009

Council engineers have been asked to come up with ways to ensure South Canterbury's Muff Road sign stays put.

The sign, in rural Orari north of Timaru, has in the past been a tempting target for thieves, and a local resident has campaigned to have the road name changed altogether.

But the Temuka and Geraldine community boards recently voted to keep the name, and Timaru district councillors backed that decision at a meeting yesterday, the Timaru Herald reported.

Engineers have been asked to come up with alternative signpost options to ensure the sign stays where it should,

Muff Rd was named after an early settler in the district Englishman Sam Muff and descendants who have retained the name have campaigned to ensure it remains.

Muff Rd resident Roger Payne has complained about the sign going missing all the time and said it made navigating the area difficult for visitors.

that's bad cluck

August 29, 2009

SEAFORTH, ONT. — A Central Huron man has died in a farm accident near the town of Seaforth, Ont.

Provincial police say 56-year-old Jerry Platt was injured Friday when he apparently fell from a chicken barn.

Platt died a short time later at Seaforth Community Hospital.

Both police and the Ministry of Labour are investigating the accident.

Police say foul play is not suspected.

how much would you pay for mine

If you watch as much porn as I do, then sooner or later the laws of probability will dictate that you will stumble on something with an ick factor of 11. You know how it is...you say to yourself how bad can it be? but before you know it, you have your thumb on the FFWD button on the remote but your brain refuses to send that one last signal to make you depress it. Your mind is too busy trying to decide if you should keep watching or puke.

I experienced that moment of zen a little while ago. After the two stunt cocks had spurted into a crystal champagne glass, the starlet picked up a straw, swizzled the man-melange around and proceeded to..well, suck. Yes, that was my reaction too.

So as I sat there unable to tear my eyes away or hit the damn button, a frozen grimace contorting my face, I recalled a story I read with a similar theme.

If you want the full details click here. For the attention-span challenged like my self, here's the short form:

It turns out that a farmer in New Zealand sold his prize stag to a gaming estate, but it's testicles were part of a separate contractual agreement worth approximately $80,000. Unfortunately (and this is something know one could see, um...coming - it's a safari, what could go wrong?) the said stag was shot and killed during a safari hunt. The grieving farmer alleged that the testicles were subsequently removed and the semen extracted without his consent. Approximately 270 straws of buck juice was extracted, each straw worth between $500 to $600. So he sues the owners of the gaming sanctuary for some ridiculous amount.

OK so the first thing that went through my head at that time was...Holy Magdalene, how big were these fucking (pun intended) testicles? 270 straws?? are you kidding me?
And then the second thought scurried past, furiously on the heels of the first. Who exactly did the extracting/sucking? How did the chain of events play out on that fateful day?

Man pays safari owners to hunt on the gaming reserve. Payee enthusiastically shoots stud-size buck. Congratulations and high-fives all around until someone makes the startling discovery,

"Oh shit, Stan! you've shot the stud stag!!"
"Damn! that's a bummer"
"Whoa! Look at the size of his testicles. They look like they're going to explode"
"Do you think...?"
"What?"
"Well...given that he's a prize stag an'all"
"Yeah the farmer, he ain't gonna be too pleased"
"I have an idea. Does anybody have any straws?"
"What!...you're not actually going to...Jesus man, that's just, just........gay"
"Well the way I figure, if you don't actually swallow..."

"If you tell anyone, I mean anyone about this..."

I know what I'm going to do. I'm taking a straw to bed with me tonight. Whaat! it's only a tablespoon full.......