bump-her stick-her (or random thoughts as I drive in to work)

Vegans Taste Better

"…in what context?"

when marinated for 24 hours in a fine red wine, spit-roasted slowly over an open fire and served with a vegetable medley lightly seasoned with olive oil?

Interesting bumper sticker, but I wish it was a little more descriptive.

I'd like to become Ruler of The Universe (ROTU)...nope I can hear the subjects laughing already. How about Supreme Lord of the World (SLoW)...damn, that's not going to work either.

Almighty King and Universal Noble Tyrant (AKUNT). Hmm…interesting but not quite the oomph I'm looking for.

"…as compared to what?"

Mulligatawny Soup, Whipped Cream over blueberry waffles and maple syrup, French toast, mashed potatoes, fresh pineapple and mango in custard. Definitely no asparagus. Or garlic. Too much onions is questionable as well. Plenty of water, cut back on the coffee. Too many strawberries increase the acidity. I've been told I taste yummy, sweet with a delicate aroma of bleach.

When I become Supreme Lord of the Universe and Tyrannical Sultan (SLUTs) HA!...sometimes I just kill myself - I want to live on an island surrounded by bare-breasted natives fanning me with Palmyra leaves, running toddy-coated nipples across my lips.

I'M PINK THEREFORE I'M SPAM

Fucking bumper stickers! They always have to be funnier than me. When I am SLUTs, I will decree that no bumper sticker will be funnier than I.