froth runneth over

My head has shrunk. I don’t think that my cap has somehow grown larger. That would be just silly. So it is that my head has grown smaller. This is not a bad thing. While some might take this as slightly alarming or cause a degree of consternation to others, I am actually quite excited by this turn of events. See I don’t really pay too much to my head. It just sorta, sits there on my shoulders. Two eyes that bookend my nose, which in turn peer down, at my mouth. Just like Gramps use to do when he was constipated. Yes, like most people I occasionally mock it while staring into a mirror-but it’s all in good clean fun isn't it? I do like my eyes, kinda trippy I was once told. My eyebrows can be trimmed I suppose-but then whose doesn't need to. My nose, hmm...well it's functional. How about my lips? Kissable apparently and erotic when slickened by her juices.

There are times that I don’t really miss my head at all. It’s always noisy inside, as if someone is constantly re-arranging the furniture. It's too cluttered if you ask me. There are too many pictures hanging on the wall. Events and memories are always floating around like ghosts, getting in each other's way. The last time I counted, there were close to 500 songs running amok, knocking over everything and making a general mess. And let’s not even think about the mountain of trivia that’s been accumulating over in the corner under the stairs!

Walking across the parking lot, heading for Shopper’s Drug Mart with shampoo on my mind (see how this all ties together?), a gust of wind almost blew my cap off. Clutching onto it, while at the same time trying to look cool (yes it can be done), it struck me:

'Hear my mummers beaver!'

What you ask?

That's what the email said. Don’t you just love spammers? The hardest part of blogging for me is coming up with a title. I like them to be short and succinct. Sure, anyone can come up with “Today as I Brushed my Teeth with my Vibrating Toothbrush, my Nipples Tingled Which Brought A Smile to my Face and Caused Toothpaste to Run Down my Cheek Which Reminded Me of the Time when…”, well you get the idea, but can you say that in 3 words or less AND retain your dignity? I didn't think so either.

But back to spammers….so sometimes I will sit for hours trying to come up with a catchy little title. I will have the blog all written up ready to go, but the title will elude me for days. And so it struck me, as I held on desperately to my bright yellow Cuba hat, that I need fret no more. Help is at hand. Literally. All I have to do is open up my Junk mail folder. It’s like a little slice of heaven. It’s like opening up your Christmas present and finding a remote-controlled vibrating egg. While you know it’s decadently sinful, it’s licentiously delightful in a recklessly wicked way.

(Just for the record, that Christmas, I asked Santa for a remote-controlled Monster Truck. Those fucking elves...!!)

So what does this have to do with my shrinking head? absolutely nothing. It was simply a punch-line, an intro, just to make you read all the way to.....................
..................here.

And now that you have indulged me, thank you, I feel better now. There's one less thought crossing inside my head.

Wait, wait! don't go yet. I got it!! yes, yes.....this.............this has to be why my head is smaller.

OK I'm done, bye